Gift #2 – The Gift of Encouragement
The second gift to give your pastor is the gift of encouragement. How can you be an encouragement to your pastor? It is quite simple! NOTICE: I did not say easy.
1. As I discussed in my last blog post, SHOW UP for the services of the church. Be faithful. Be there when you don’t feel like it. Be there when someone has invited you to something “fun”. Be there when you don’t think the message is relevant to you.
Before I was a pastor, I always found that I seemed to get so much more out of the message on those days when I thought I had something better, more fun or more interesting to do but made the decision to be faithful to God and my church.
2. STOP complimenting the message and START applying it. I have to admit, I really enjoy having people come up to me after the service and tell me, “Great message.” Having said that, those words are hollow if there is never a change in their lives. I mean, how good can a person truly believe a message is if they never apply it to their lives? Do they mean “It really gave me a warm fuzzy feeling” or, do they mean “I’m really glad that you preached that so that _______ could hear it because he really needed it” or, do they mean “I’m comfortable with what you preached because you didn’t step on my toes.”?
I recently had one of the members come up to me after the AM service. Several people shook my hand and complimented the message but this lady came up, said nothing about this message and proceeded to tell me how my previous Sunday’s message had impacted he life that week and how she had applied it to a difficult situation. This was far more encouraging than a hundred compliments. Pastors don’t want to be great orators; we want to see lives changed through the ministry of the Word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit.
3. Pray for him. We have trials and struggles just like everyone else. We experience crisis of faith. Just like everyone else we often struggle with balancing our duties to our congregation with the duties to our families. We carry a heavy burden of things that we often are not able to share with others because of the discretion expected from pastors. These things wear on us. Because of these factors, we covet your prayers. I am convinced that I would not have survived two years as a pastor without the prayers of faithful Christians.
4. Allow for failure. We certainly don’t want to allow for things like affairs and other moral failures that violate the qualifications of a pastor but we do need to allow for other types of failure that are part of the human experience.
All too often congregations buy into the myth that pastors are super-Christians who have already arrived. We aren’t super-Christians. We aren’t perfect and we will fail on occasion or perhaps even more often. Not all of our ideas are going to be home runs, some will, in fact, be strike-outs. We will sometimes say something that is hurtful without intending to be hurtful. We get tired and irritable just like anyone else. I’m not making excuses, just expressing reality. Too often when a pastor makes a mistake, makes an unfortunate turn of a phrase or even just fails to shake a hand or acknowledge someone at the local grocery store, the offended person decides that he is unsuitable to be their pastor and either leaves the congregation or seeks to have the pastor removed.
Let me say this, when I am shopping, I am not typically looking for someone with whom I can fellowship; I’m looking for what I am purchasing. If you are offended that I didn’t come up and say hi to you, why shouldn’t I be offended that you didn’t extend the same courtesy to me? Is it just my responsibility to be sociable and extend the right hand of fellowship to you but not your responsibility to do the same for me?
Am I not allowed to accidentally rearrange words? Should I be equally offended when you do the same? We need to stop harboring grudges and start working out our problems with each other in a biblical fashion, according to Matthew 18:15, “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” And Matthew 5:23-24, “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” Go to him and talk about it. Work it out biblically and the body will be strengthened.
When your pastor makes a mistake, lovingly point it out and give him the opportunity to make it right. He isn’t perfect and he knows it. But working through these issues with him, you will draw closer to each other and closer to God. You will show him that he is not alone, that he can be human and can show his weakness without worrying about losing his income.
It should be noted that while being a pastor is a source of income, most pastors aren’t in the ministry for the money. Instead we do it for the love of God and out of love of the congregation. That having been said, we still need to be concerned with providing for our families and worrying about losing our ‘jobs’ will only magnify every problem. Pastors should have the security of knowing that they won’t lose their income over every silly dispute that comes along.
5. Offer to help. It is one thing to come up with a ministry idea, it is entirely another to offer to help. Many people seem to think that the pastor has the responsibility of leading each and every ministry. This is unrealistic and ultimately self-defeating for the church. If the pastor takes on this type of responsibility he will burn out, become discouraged and possibly leave the ministry, leaving the church without someone to fill this vital role. But, if the pastor has someone who can take the leadership role for that ministry, he can devote time to developing that leader and others within the ministry.
One of a pastor’s greatest joys is being able to disciple other believers leaving a legacy behind that will strengthen the church and prepare it for the trials and tribulations that will come. This is part of the ministry that Paul modeled as he invested in the lives of Timothy, Titus and John Mark, developing these young men into vital leaders who could take his place when he was no longer able to lead. What a great encouragement it would be to see the church’s work force double and see people committing themselves to Christ, not only for salvation but also to living for His honor and glory in every area of their lives.
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