Gift #4 – The Gift of Respect
Many will say, “I do respect my pastor!” but often pastors feel disrespected and even castigated. The ‘joke’ is that Pastors have the easiest job in the world because they only work 1 day a week, one and a half if there is a mid-week service, but the reality is that pastors work hard and this is not a Monday – Friday 9-5 job. The person who God has called to the office of Pastor is on call 24/7. We try to take a day off each week, yes, just a day for many of us. but we get called upon during our days off and even, at times when we are on vacation hundreds or thousand miles away. When we leave the office, the burden we carry doesn’t stay there like it does with many other jobs. Why is this? Because being a pastor is neither a job nor a career, it is a calling from God and God doesn’t call anyone to part-time service. He didn’t call us for a job, he called us to be generals in a spiritual war which is fought at all times.
So, “How do people show disrespect and how can this be changed?” you might ask. Here are some examples of disrespect and what can be done to correct them.
1. Showing up late. Your pastor is busy juggling a hundred balls and his time is valuable. When you have scheduled a meeting with him, whether it is a private meeting, a committee meeting or one of the services of the church, show up on time. When you are late it says three things 1) “You aren’t important”, 2) “Your time is of no value” and, 3) “You have nothing better to do anyways”. If you consider when people show up late for the services of the church you can add “Your work you put into planning this service is meaningless” and, “You have nothing of value to teach me today” to those unspoken statements.
The disrespect is compounded when you consider that in disrespecting your past that you are also dishonoring God and calling His wisdom and provision into question since it is God who called the pastor and put him in that position of service and authority.
2. Feeling the need to correct everything. Some people feel the need to find some fault in everything. “You misspelled this word”, “A better verse is…”, “Your grammar was wrong”, etc. Pastors are willing to receive correction, particularly if there was a theological problem that was stated or implied, but finding fault in everything just for the sake of keeping him ‘humble’ is wrong, sinful, ungodly and just plain discouraging to him. If the pastor used a double negative, let it go. If there is a typo in the bulletin offer to help out by typing the bulleting for him or at least proof read it before it is printed. Anyone can find problems, the godly response is to offer a solution and get involved with that solution.
3. Being uncommitted! We discussed this already in a previous blog, but it needs to be said again. Be committed! I weary of asking people if they can do something and having them not commit because something better might come up. I guarantee that you will not lose out on anything by serving God and committing yourself to His work. I used to love watching NFL Football but in the last few years, because of my ministry, I have seen, maybe, 3 games. Do I miss it sometimes? Sure I do, particularly when the Steelers are in the play-offs, but then I realize that what I am doing for the Lord is far more important and I don’t feel deprived anymore. God’s calling is greater than the NFL and I have come to realize that I don’t need the distraction.
Another way of demonstrating a lack of commitment is failing to make a specific appointment when meeting with the pastor. I know we use the excuse that we don’t know what will happen, but being committed means that we make it a priority and will do everything in our power to keep that commitment, even if it means cutting something else short. I long for a return to the days when a man’s word was his bond and he wasn’t afraid to say “I will do it.” or, “I will be there.”
4. Failing to take advantage of the training opportunities that your pastor makes available. This is personal to me, very personal. Training is important and it is a priority for, if not all then certainly for, many pastors. The problem today is with our hectic schedules in seems to be extremely difficult to find time for the one-on-one training or even group training. One of the possible solutions I found is trying to utilize online training opportunities. I subscribed to an online training service and invited about 20 members to join (no cost to them) and take advantage of training I set up for them. It has been about 6 months now and not one person has taken advantage of it. This is $40 a month out of my pocket and I don’t mind doing it, but now I realize that people don’t really care enough to even check it out and offer feedback. It is disrespectful to discount the input of the man God has placed in your life to help guide you into Christian maturity.
5. Spreading discontentment. For some reason miserable people aren’t happy (if they ever are) if they aren’t spreading their misery around. They don’t like something the pastor did or said and so instead of doing the godly, biblical thing of going to the pastor and talking about it, they go out and talk to other people about it. This will often manufacture a problem that didn’t, and even still doesn’t, exist. I am getting more and more convinced that Satan has begun profoundly seeding churches with goats, wolves in sheep clothing and all manner of nefarious disguises to distract and discourage not just the pastor but the church as well by sowing seeds of discontent. This weakens the church, its testimony and distracts us from our mission of spreading the Gospel and discipling believers into a more mature faith.
If someone comes to you with a complaint about the pastor or the church, ask them, before they get another word out of their mouth, whether they have talked to the pastor yet. If they have not, remind them that Jesus Christ, the Mighty God, the Savior of our souls, the Counselor, has expressly told us how we are to handle disputes in Matthew 18:15-17 and tell them to talk to the pastor. If they choose to continue tell them to be quiet. I f they still want to continue, walk away, and do as that passage says, get a witness ort two and talk to that person. Don’t allow that person to pollute your heart and mind. If every committed Christian would do that these revilers would leave the church and the church will be strengthened.
This is all for now. Next time, perhaps later today, I will post a final blog about what to give your pastor if you really want to do something that you might consider “more substantial”.
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